Just Like A Dory

I believed what happened to me (um, well, one of my main health problems anyway) was called TMI, but it is not TMI! It's a TIA!! I'm sure I have suffered from TMI before (too much information!) but you know, it isn't a disease or a condition and....actually if I'm really sarcastic it could be a disease...

Carrying on. One of the conditions I have had to deal with, and sadly, I am still recovering from, is a Transient ischemic attack. Basically, and luckily, I was in the hospital when my TIA happened. I was in bed, and had just eaten, when the left side of my body gave out on me. I was reaching for my water pitcher, and in my head I had put my hand around the handle, but....no. Nope. It was not on the handle. It was still resting on the bed near me. I tried again, and it moved some, but it was weak. I tried again, and as a Nurse aid came in, I told her - very slurred as I spoke, that I was having trouble moving my arm. She went out to get a Nurse. That nurse came in, spoke with me, saw my face was not moving when I spoke (just on one side), heard the slurring, and went to get one of my doctors. He in turn came in, same thing happened, and he left and got a specialist.

And soon I was no longer in my old room. I was moved to the stroke center to be observed and watched. I have never been so @#$%# scared in my life. I thought my blood clot was something to be scared of, but no, this was worse. I knew what I wanted to speak about, what I wanted to say, but it never happened. The voice was not mine. It was slurred, it was slow and completely babble. My brain was saying "That is not me." but it was. Frustrating. Frightening. Even now I feel that I should have been able to speak better and that it was all so...out of body.

I have already had a battle - and it is still creeping in with my TIA complications - of Bells Palsy. Because of the Palsy symptoms being such a close mimic of some of the signs of having a stroke (and the TIA), I went into the E.R.. I was admitted. It took a couple of days of tests to make sure it was just Bells Palsy and not a stroke or another TIA. Once the Palsy left I thought it would stay gone, but occasionally my lips can actually flicker into a pucker on their own and stay stuck that way for a few seconds. I do not feel this is a huge thing to deal with, however, if I do it in public I hope to whatever god may be listening to make sure I am not puckering up toward some trucker with plumber jeans on! Egh!

From what I have been told by the Specialist, about my TIA, is I had risk factors that just gave my brain no chance of fully recovering. There is some damaged brain cells up there. Some affect the left side of my body. I have weak hands now. I can sometimes get stuck on stairs. My left leg is like "um, what...oh...yeah moving..right.." so I get into a delay. I believe, in all certaintly, that I have become Dory from Finding Nemo. Yes! I love her! And it explains how I can be, sometimes. Just like a Dory.

Other complications affect my mind and...I don't know what section it is though. I get words mixed up in my head. Their meaning changes on me. My mind totally believes, as an example, that this is a perfectly good way to speak:

I am going to the bathroom to cook up a good roast.

My mind agrees that bathroom is the right room to do that, then I do a Homer...doh! No, I mean kitchen ! Not the bathroom! I find myself doing a mental shake, and sometimes I laugh so much. Some of the mixed up things can be a little crazy! It's good to have the humor!

The other complications are just from everything I have dealt with since October of 2009. That is when I started to get sick. That is when it all began to go down hill....but not now! Now, I'm Dory, and now, I just keep swimming! Yep, Just Keep Swimmin!