Little A is going in to her surgeon today at Rush and they will do a upper endoscopy of her "esophagus" to see what needs to be done for her EA/TEF thus far. We discussed balloon treatment for her scar tissue area that seems to always shrink inward ever so slowly. This blocks her food from swallowing well and just causes a lot of problems. They will go in and balloon that section out some and then maybe check the rest of her throat area to see if she has any bone build up. Now, I'm not sure if this is calcium build up or something else. During the surgical procedure when they made her "esophagus" they cut the area around her collar bone and chest. Her collar bone is free from the chest bone. Her chest bone is also cut down a little on the left side. It's kind of shaped like the top of a triangle, upside down. The point is facing the heart. The wider section is up by her throat. This enables them to fix the "esophagus" easier! It can just be a little strange to see her collar bone sticking out of her neck area when she's got a full "throat" if food is stuck. One of the tell tale signs of "we need to massage her neck" !
We will be learing around 1PM to take her to Rush. E gets in just after 1 PM from school, an early dismissal today due to All Day Testing. ACT stuff and other things. School is so confusing now! Anyway, E will come home and rest. He was up very early to be at the school by 7:30 AM and after testing all day long you know that is going to be a 'worn out' moment! He will be home, but his Uncle D will be here too, so he won't be completely alone. I know he's old enough to be here alone. I know he won't do stupid things, but I still have a better ease about myself when there are people I know around my kids!
I'm hoping Little A will come home tonight and there will be no overnight stay. I'm packing, just in case, for an overnight. I am not going to enjoy that very much! Oh yes, it will be a total Disney girl's night out or something. Egh! I'm not much of a "new" Disney mom. I sort of shy away from things like that. Pre-Teen, Tween, whatever they are called shows like um, see, I'm lost on titles I actually have to think about it. My daughter watches them and loves them and, hey, it's better than some reality show stuff, buuuuut....boy oh boy can it be crazy!
I need to get back to making sure I have everything in my bag. I will be sure to update everything about Little A, and the adventure to Rush, when we get back fully!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Go 'Head and Hate
If I could give you the world on a silver platter
Would it even Matter?
You'd still be mad at me.
If I could find in all this a dozen roses
Which I would give to you, you'd still be miserable
In reality I'm gon' be who I be and I don't feel no faults
For all the lies that you brought
You can try as you may, break me down when I say
That it ain't up to you, gonna do what you do
Hate on me, hater, now or later
'Cause I'm gonna do me, you'll be made, baby
Go 'head and hate on me, hater, I'm not afraid of
What I got I paid for, you can hate on me
Oh, if I gave you peaches outta my own garden
And I made you a peach pie, would you slap me out?
Wonder if I gave you diamonds out of my own woumb
Would you feel the love in that or ask why not the moon?
If I gave you sanity for the whole of humanity
Handed all the solutions for the pain and pollution
No matter where I live, despite the things I give
You'll always be this way, so go 'head and
Hate on me, hater, now or later
'Cause I'm gonna do me, you'll be made, baby
Go 'head and hate on me, hater, I'm not afraid of
What I got I paid for, you can hate on me
You cannot hate on me 'cause my mind is free
Feel my destiny, so shall it be
You can not hate on me 'cause my mind is free
Feel my destiny, so shall it be
Hate on me, hater, now or later
'Cause I'm gonna do me, you'll be made, baby
Go 'head and hate on me, hater, I'm not afraid of
What I got I paid for, you can hate on me
Would it even Matter?
You'd still be mad at me.
If I could find in all this a dozen roses
Which I would give to you, you'd still be miserable
In reality I'm gon' be who I be and I don't feel no faults
For all the lies that you brought
You can try as you may, break me down when I say
That it ain't up to you, gonna do what you do
Hate on me, hater, now or later
'Cause I'm gonna do me, you'll be made, baby
Go 'head and hate on me, hater, I'm not afraid of
What I got I paid for, you can hate on me
Oh, if I gave you peaches outta my own garden
And I made you a peach pie, would you slap me out?
Wonder if I gave you diamonds out of my own woumb
Would you feel the love in that or ask why not the moon?
If I gave you sanity for the whole of humanity
Handed all the solutions for the pain and pollution
No matter where I live, despite the things I give
You'll always be this way, so go 'head and
Hate on me, hater, now or later
'Cause I'm gonna do me, you'll be made, baby
Go 'head and hate on me, hater, I'm not afraid of
What I got I paid for, you can hate on me
You cannot hate on me 'cause my mind is free
Feel my destiny, so shall it be
You can not hate on me 'cause my mind is free
Feel my destiny, so shall it be
Hate on me, hater, now or later
'Cause I'm gonna do me, you'll be made, baby
Go 'head and hate on me, hater, I'm not afraid of
What I got I paid for, you can hate on me
September 20th Menu
This crazy week's menu. We are having a wild funky week so it is a bit unusual to look at. Or maybe it is just unusual to me. Fend for yourself days are when it's just go into the kitchen and make yourself something. My boys (the males in the family) all know how to do that just fine. The baby boy will be fed by them because he is just as pushy as his Mamma. So I know all will go well if they have a stocked fridge.
On a side note: I actually got a HTML table created. Woot! I haven't done one in so long I was proud!
Go me, go me, go me....cabbage patch....go me...go me...!
September 20 - September 25
| Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | Saturday |
| Tomato Soup & Grilled Cheese | Spaghetti & Garlic Bread | Baked Potatoes & Toppings | Surgery Day. Fend for yourself! | Hospital Day. Fend for yourself! | Unknown Day. Fend for yourself! |
On a side note: I actually got a HTML table created. Woot! I haven't done one in so long I was proud!
Go me, go me, go me....cabbage patch....go me...go me...!
Surgery Coming Part 3: Little A's Roller Coaster
The only problem with children is they grow. Sometimes quickly. Little A is now 8 years old. Her homemade esophagus is a roller coaster inside her body. Where we see a normal esophagus under x-ray with ourselves her esophagus looks like the mine ride in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, minus the big gap part they had to jump! (That video is just...crazy...I laughed at the coin sounds..) She also has stricture problems, sometimes, because she does not chew food properly when she is extremely hungry. Which lately is all the time. (Watches her eating chicken nuggets and shakes her head with a grin.) So, problems occur.
A stricture happens when the scar tissue where her homemade esophagus is attached at the throat, and somewhere down by her tummy, grow inward and make the holes too narrow to get food through properly. She has several areas that can show stricture. The throat, the stomach, and down in the colon. So far the throat has been the one that has had the most trouble. We even massage that area so that food pops! through the hole if it gets stuck. Weird, but hey, you get used to it. I can even feel out the spot to help navigate the food for her. That...sounds odd, but it works for us until we can see her doctor.
This week her Surgeon (a new surgeon since Dr. Bass moved on and we gained her replacement) Dr. Mark Holterman is going to go in for a look-see. He just wants to extend her neck area again with one of these because the scar tissue has narrowed: partay balloons in Little A's throat! but he also wants to check out that roller coaster ride of a esophagus and see what, or if something, needs done. Like a pull. The pull would mean that they yank out all the excess "esophagus" (colon) that has grown over the years to make it decently straight for her to have a direct line from mouth to stomach. If he feels it is necessary to do a pull he will call from the O.R. and let us know while she is under.
A pull at this age is a short term relief. In about six years she will need another pull done. That colon piece will be growing as she grows, and in it's natural state, like a colon. If a pull is done now, she will have a few years to go and another surgery will be necessary. We can only do this one appointment at a time. One month at a time. Things could change at any time. It can be an unbearable and heavy weight on you if you contemplate it too much or too often, though. I get happy for normal, crazy days. The alternative to those sucks!
Here we come Thursday. You better be ready for us!
A stricture happens when the scar tissue where her homemade esophagus is attached at the throat, and somewhere down by her tummy, grow inward and make the holes too narrow to get food through properly. She has several areas that can show stricture. The throat, the stomach, and down in the colon. So far the throat has been the one that has had the most trouble. We even massage that area so that food pops! through the hole if it gets stuck. Weird, but hey, you get used to it. I can even feel out the spot to help navigate the food for her. That...sounds odd, but it works for us until we can see her doctor.
This week her Surgeon (a new surgeon since Dr. Bass moved on and we gained her replacement) Dr. Mark Holterman is going to go in for a look-see. He just wants to extend her neck area again with one of these because the scar tissue has narrowed: partay balloons in Little A's throat! but he also wants to check out that roller coaster ride of a esophagus and see what, or if something, needs done. Like a pull. The pull would mean that they yank out all the excess "esophagus" (colon) that has grown over the years to make it decently straight for her to have a direct line from mouth to stomach. If he feels it is necessary to do a pull he will call from the O.R. and let us know while she is under.
A pull at this age is a short term relief. In about six years she will need another pull done. That colon piece will be growing as she grows, and in it's natural state, like a colon. If a pull is done now, she will have a few years to go and another surgery will be necessary. We can only do this one appointment at a time. One month at a time. Things could change at any time. It can be an unbearable and heavy weight on you if you contemplate it too much or too often, though. I get happy for normal, crazy days. The alternative to those sucks!
Here we come Thursday. You better be ready for us!
Surgery Coming Part 2: Little A Grows
So Little A was born. She was given a G-tube to eat with, a tube was shoved down her nose and out the hole in her neck they created so she did not choke on her own spit. It was called (I think) a cervical esophagostomy, but short term is Spit Fistula. It was a messy sucker, too. It was right at the base of her neck around her collar bone area on her left side. Because it was messy we were taught how to use pediatric colostomy bags from a company named Hollister to cover them. Here is a picture of one of the bags and it's adhesive pad: bag of hell.
To put the bag on her, we had to hold her still, (Yeah, try that with a wiggling infant!) her neck had to be at a certain angle, it had to be clean of spit and or other liquids, it had to be smoothed out for the adhesive strip to fit properly. When we finally did get it on her (properly..) we had to watch it so it would not fill up with air and pop! There is a cork like tip on it that can drain the liquid (spit) and air if done properly. Sometimes we had good days. Sometimes we had terrible one's. But we made sure she kept that tube up her poor little nose. (Yes, sometimes she took it out. I put it right back in. The things we learn for our children.) We made sure she had love and comfort. Her G-Tube was cared for...even when it came out!!! Gosh, what a time all that was!
They finally did the main surgery on her once she became older and gained more weight. They did a colon interposition for the esophagus. I remember Dr. Bass drawing a picture for E when she spoke about it. She did a diagram on the paper they use to cover the examination tables to show him how they would take a piece of her colon and form it into her esophagus. I was amazed by the process. There were many opportunities to correct the esophageal atresia, but this method seemed wise for our daughter because of how big the gap was from her stomach to her mouth.
She no longer had the spit fistula. She eventually crawled and knocked out the damn G-tube. I never put it back in. I just picked it up off the rug, glared at it, covered her tummy with gauze and tape while I called the Nurse, told her what happened, and that was that. No more G-tube. We tell Little A she's so special she has two belly buttons!
To put the bag on her, we had to hold her still, (Yeah, try that with a wiggling infant!) her neck had to be at a certain angle, it had to be clean of spit and or other liquids, it had to be smoothed out for the adhesive strip to fit properly. When we finally did get it on her (properly..) we had to watch it so it would not fill up with air and pop! There is a cork like tip on it that can drain the liquid (spit) and air if done properly. Sometimes we had good days. Sometimes we had terrible one's. But we made sure she kept that tube up her poor little nose. (Yes, sometimes she took it out. I put it right back in. The things we learn for our children.) We made sure she had love and comfort. Her G-Tube was cared for...even when it came out!!! Gosh, what a time all that was!
They finally did the main surgery on her once she became older and gained more weight. They did a colon interposition for the esophagus. I remember Dr. Bass drawing a picture for E when she spoke about it. She did a diagram on the paper they use to cover the examination tables to show him how they would take a piece of her colon and form it into her esophagus. I was amazed by the process. There were many opportunities to correct the esophageal atresia, but this method seemed wise for our daughter because of how big the gap was from her stomach to her mouth.
She no longer had the spit fistula. She eventually crawled and knocked out the damn G-tube. I never put it back in. I just picked it up off the rug, glared at it, covered her tummy with gauze and tape while I called the Nurse, told her what happened, and that was that. No more G-tube. We tell Little A she's so special she has two belly buttons!
Surgery Coming Part 1: Little A History
I use the word surgery but my husband does not use that word. I guess he would prefer the word procedure or something? My view of this is this: My daughter will be under anesthesia. She will have instruments watching over her vitals while under anesthesia. They will be inserting instruments into her body to view her and observe her and inspect her. To me, that is surgery. Asleep and things inside the body = surgery! I guess if blood is not involved my husband thinks it's not surgery? That makes me grin a little. It's all based on....opinion. Oh that is the other "O" word. Opinion!
Back to the surgery. We will get a phone call from Rush Medical Center in Chicago on Wednesday. They tell us what time to report to the Hospital on Thursday. I do not know why they do it this way, but hey, arguing with that system will put you in the Hospital. On Thursday we report to Rush on time and register through that slow desk system of theirs. They are always slow at that location. I wish a new system could be implemented. For the past 8 years we have had to use them for one thing or another and that one spot is like a sleepy snail.
I can't go into the idea behind what they are going to do without telling her history first. Or at least a brief blip of it. Naw, I'll just do the whole thing. So here we go:
Little A was born on the end of July in 2002. She was part of the 9/11 baby boom that came around, in my opinion, and is my second born, but B's first. During a typical ultrasound (her first, actually) we discovered she did not have a visible stomach on the monitor. The operator actually paused, went back, paused again, and then moved out of the room to get someone else who came back into the room. I was so worried. I know my blood pressure was already high...I can't imagine what it was at that point, but bang! zoom! comes to mind.
The other technician could not find her stomach. Hearing the words "We can't find her stomach" (or something thereof) made me freak out on the inside. I didn't know what to say or do other than wonder, what does that mean? She explained no liquid could be seen to see the stomach. That had many meanings and we were sent to specialists in Chicago. When I got home I did what I always do. Look stuff up! I used search engines and started looking at what it means to have no stomach visible and so on. I am a "I need to know this stuff" person. I prepare myself that way. I think B went to lay down and think. He does his thing. I do mine. It works!
The specialist had me on a table for so long the pressure was unbelievable. He mentioned a "sack" and a "nub" and this and that and then finally said the words "esophageal atresia with a slight fistula"...say what?
Simply put, Little A was born without an esophagus and had a small hole between what was there of her esophagus and her trachea. Here is a diagram showing her type: EA/TEF . Little A is a Type C on a chart that shows many types of this birth defect. It is called the most common form of this defect, but considering how rare any of the types are, I think it is anything but common!
B was with me and Little A (yes, still inside me but she was there so she is mentioned) the entire time we had to do something. We had to go and have her monitored twice a week at Rush (the gas money and trying to pay rent etc..is how our debt started to come back but we had to do it for the baby girl..). We saw our Specialist often.
Our baby girl would be born without a way to swallow and if she did, the liquid would go into her lungs. The mind can really, really work around all of that with imagination and worry and everything....
...that's probably why we started to drive around often. Driving away in the car. Traveling to other places. It gave us something to do. It distracted us. It helped us. (It got me Dairy Queen vanilla cones...the best cheap craving...) Our own kind of therapy. That was much cheaper than paying a therapist!
Then we met Dr. Bass and everything shifted into a better place. At the time, Dr. Bass worked at Rush and saw us about once every month along the way to make sure everything was going smoothly. She made sure we understood the proceedures ahead of us. She made sure we understood what would happen when Little A was born. They had to immediately get her prepared for being out of the womb. They had to make sure she could eat (G-tube), and so on. It was a lot of preparation with months to make sure it was just right for us and for Little A.
She told me if I could carry Little A full term it would be the ultimate prize. From what Dr. Bass explained, a baby with this type of birth defect was hard to carry full term due to amniotic fluid build up and toxins that produced (not to mention weight and pressure...). The only thing I remember hearing was "full term is an excellent start for the baby". Then damn it, full term it would be. My stubborn mom side kicked in. I would carry her as long as possible. I promised Little A one night, mentally speaking to her, that, no matter what came, she had a safe place to grow and be ready for what she would be dealing with.
Even with the summer heat (wow...hot does not describe that summer. I did thank plumbers everywhere for cold water showers...), even with toxins in my system, even with the fluid sloshing about inside me (we called me Little A's indoor swimming pool). Oh, the fluid could be removed, they told us, with needles inserted in the womb through my stomach. Much like they would do with amniotic fluid tests. "It would give you some relief". Um, hello? You want to stick a needle like that through my tummy and into the womb where my baby is happily splashing about? No. Way. I will remain a walking swimming pool.
With all of what I dealt with physically I still held her for a full term. I was so proud of myself afterward, but I was extremely proud of B. Without his help and his support and just him being who he is....it would have been hell to deal with alone. He kept me going. He's my hero.
Back to the surgery. We will get a phone call from Rush Medical Center in Chicago on Wednesday. They tell us what time to report to the Hospital on Thursday. I do not know why they do it this way, but hey, arguing with that system will put you in the Hospital. On Thursday we report to Rush on time and register through that slow desk system of theirs. They are always slow at that location. I wish a new system could be implemented. For the past 8 years we have had to use them for one thing or another and that one spot is like a sleepy snail.
I can't go into the idea behind what they are going to do without telling her history first. Or at least a brief blip of it. Naw, I'll just do the whole thing. So here we go:
Little A was born on the end of July in 2002. She was part of the 9/11 baby boom that came around, in my opinion, and is my second born, but B's first. During a typical ultrasound (her first, actually) we discovered she did not have a visible stomach on the monitor. The operator actually paused, went back, paused again, and then moved out of the room to get someone else who came back into the room. I was so worried. I know my blood pressure was already high...I can't imagine what it was at that point, but bang! zoom! comes to mind.
The other technician could not find her stomach. Hearing the words "We can't find her stomach" (or something thereof) made me freak out on the inside. I didn't know what to say or do other than wonder, what does that mean? She explained no liquid could be seen to see the stomach. That had many meanings and we were sent to specialists in Chicago. When I got home I did what I always do. Look stuff up! I used search engines and started looking at what it means to have no stomach visible and so on. I am a "I need to know this stuff" person. I prepare myself that way. I think B went to lay down and think. He does his thing. I do mine. It works!
The specialist had me on a table for so long the pressure was unbelievable. He mentioned a "sack" and a "nub" and this and that and then finally said the words "esophageal atresia with a slight fistula"...say what?
Simply put, Little A was born without an esophagus and had a small hole between what was there of her esophagus and her trachea. Here is a diagram showing her type: EA/TEF . Little A is a Type C on a chart that shows many types of this birth defect. It is called the most common form of this defect, but considering how rare any of the types are, I think it is anything but common!
B was with me and Little A (yes, still inside me but she was there so she is mentioned) the entire time we had to do something. We had to go and have her monitored twice a week at Rush (the gas money and trying to pay rent etc..is how our debt started to come back but we had to do it for the baby girl..). We saw our Specialist often.
Our baby girl would be born without a way to swallow and if she did, the liquid would go into her lungs. The mind can really, really work around all of that with imagination and worry and everything....
...that's probably why we started to drive around often. Driving away in the car. Traveling to other places. It gave us something to do. It distracted us. It helped us. (It got me Dairy Queen vanilla cones...the best cheap craving...) Our own kind of therapy. That was much cheaper than paying a therapist!
Then we met Dr. Bass and everything shifted into a better place. At the time, Dr. Bass worked at Rush and saw us about once every month along the way to make sure everything was going smoothly. She made sure we understood the proceedures ahead of us. She made sure we understood what would happen when Little A was born. They had to immediately get her prepared for being out of the womb. They had to make sure she could eat (G-tube), and so on. It was a lot of preparation with months to make sure it was just right for us and for Little A.
She told me if I could carry Little A full term it would be the ultimate prize. From what Dr. Bass explained, a baby with this type of birth defect was hard to carry full term due to amniotic fluid build up and toxins that produced (not to mention weight and pressure...). The only thing I remember hearing was "full term is an excellent start for the baby". Then damn it, full term it would be. My stubborn mom side kicked in. I would carry her as long as possible. I promised Little A one night, mentally speaking to her, that, no matter what came, she had a safe place to grow and be ready for what she would be dealing with.
Even with the summer heat (wow...hot does not describe that summer. I did thank plumbers everywhere for cold water showers...), even with toxins in my system, even with the fluid sloshing about inside me (we called me Little A's indoor swimming pool). Oh, the fluid could be removed, they told us, with needles inserted in the womb through my stomach. Much like they would do with amniotic fluid tests. "It would give you some relief". Um, hello? You want to stick a needle like that through my tummy and into the womb where my baby is happily splashing about? No. Way. I will remain a walking swimming pool.
With all of what I dealt with physically I still held her for a full term. I was so proud of myself afterward, but I was extremely proud of B. Without his help and his support and just him being who he is....it would have been hell to deal with alone. He kept me going. He's my hero.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Halloween Costumes
I hate buying a costume. I love creating costumes with my kids. I know that some people say, "by the time you get it all done it's cheaper to spend money on a pre-made costume". Sure it is, but....I'm not doing this for the work we go into it. I don't do it for the frustration of getting poked with a pin or needle. (I sew by hand right now.) I don't do it for creating patterns and turning something into something else! Sure I can easily buy something and be done with it. Whoopty do! I do this....to do something with my kids! We interact, we talk, we design, they learn they grow....watching their faces light up with the creation of something they designed and it comes to life? That is why I do this. That is why it's so fun. This way of doing things works for me and my family, and that's all that matters. Us.
We actually start thinking of ideas in August. By September they have a general idea of some things they would like to be. By the end of September they do know and I'm already shopping for pieces and parts to create what they see themselves as. To save money we hit Goodwill. We hit Salvation Army. We hit Joann Fabrics. We hit Michaels. My poor husband serves as driver and kid wrangler and sometimes bag carrier during all of this. He is such a special man. This is why I traveled over 700 miles to get to him! So worth every mile and more! My eldest son also helps keep the kids in line. He helps with many things, and I adore him for that help! It's just difficult to show them both how wonderful they are. Maybe these words, doubled up with my thanks, will show that!
This year we have my daughter going as a Water Fairy. Her vision is from Tinkerbell's friend, the water fairy that flutters about in the movies, but it's not exactly her. She's a Water Fairy but not that exact fairy. She's herself as a water fairy. She wanted her wings done, somewhat like this: Wing design. Then she will have a skirt, that is similar to this: Skirt design. And in tights with a warm shirt that she will decorate with a design like this: Design for shirt. We found a bag similar to this one: the bag; It is blue and we are sewing sequins on it and adding fluttery like fabric for a water affect. It will be for her to get candy in it instead of just a felt bag or bucket or plastic pumpkin thing. It will go with her costume and not clash! Everything will be decorated in sequins and she will be sparkling and watery with effects like this and this! Yep she really worked hard on this idea. She will also have a wand similar to this one because she wanted a wand despite fairies having natural magic. Hey, it's Halloween, it's her thing and her creativity! The best thing is watching her pick out what she likes and going with the idea. I just help her along. Kind of like a seamstress hired under a designer!
My son loves watching my husband play a game called City of Heroes. I have a few characters in the game too but I haven't played in a while. My husband plays daily and has a few characters in there that he shuffles about depending on his moods. One of my son's favorite characters my husband plays is a ...western like figure. Kind of like Jonah Hex crossed with the facial features (without flames) of Ghost Rider (but the skull features are a mask worn over his face in the game) and the clothing is similar to this: Shell Jacket but the buttons are to one side and not in the middle and side. Maybe I can get my husband to get a snap of his guy for me in game and I can just show you that through flickr or something! Would help a lot hmm? The cape he will have is similar to this pattern but we will have the hood missing. I did this to save money. The pants are like this: Pant design. Everything worn is gray, mostly, and almost echoing a confederate like design in uniform. His costume requires a lot of alterations and additions, but we want it authentic to the original designer (my husband!) and my son is a total strict "It has to be like that" guy. So we are detail detail detail!
My eldest son, who I did not expect to dress up, is! He is shooting for a...self-designed persona. So far he has chosen a top hat, white shirt, black dress slacks, a pair of vampire teeth that are very realistic and fit on the teeth and not just those silly mouth sets, and a mask. The idea is quite interesting and I have a feeling it will all be extremely imaginative and creative! I can't wait to see what he does to complete it all!
Updates as we create and fix these costumes, I promise, along with prices for items and what we spent along the way!
We actually start thinking of ideas in August. By September they have a general idea of some things they would like to be. By the end of September they do know and I'm already shopping for pieces and parts to create what they see themselves as. To save money we hit Goodwill. We hit Salvation Army. We hit Joann Fabrics. We hit Michaels. My poor husband serves as driver and kid wrangler and sometimes bag carrier during all of this. He is such a special man. This is why I traveled over 700 miles to get to him! So worth every mile and more! My eldest son also helps keep the kids in line. He helps with many things, and I adore him for that help! It's just difficult to show them both how wonderful they are. Maybe these words, doubled up with my thanks, will show that!
This year we have my daughter going as a Water Fairy. Her vision is from Tinkerbell's friend, the water fairy that flutters about in the movies, but it's not exactly her. She's a Water Fairy but not that exact fairy. She's herself as a water fairy. She wanted her wings done, somewhat like this: Wing design. Then she will have a skirt, that is similar to this: Skirt design. And in tights with a warm shirt that she will decorate with a design like this: Design for shirt. We found a bag similar to this one: the bag; It is blue and we are sewing sequins on it and adding fluttery like fabric for a water affect. It will be for her to get candy in it instead of just a felt bag or bucket or plastic pumpkin thing. It will go with her costume and not clash! Everything will be decorated in sequins and she will be sparkling and watery with effects like this and this! Yep she really worked hard on this idea. She will also have a wand similar to this one because she wanted a wand despite fairies having natural magic. Hey, it's Halloween, it's her thing and her creativity! The best thing is watching her pick out what she likes and going with the idea. I just help her along. Kind of like a seamstress hired under a designer!
My son loves watching my husband play a game called City of Heroes. I have a few characters in the game too but I haven't played in a while. My husband plays daily and has a few characters in there that he shuffles about depending on his moods. One of my son's favorite characters my husband plays is a ...western like figure. Kind of like Jonah Hex crossed with the facial features (without flames) of Ghost Rider (but the skull features are a mask worn over his face in the game) and the clothing is similar to this: Shell Jacket but the buttons are to one side and not in the middle and side. Maybe I can get my husband to get a snap of his guy for me in game and I can just show you that through flickr or something! Would help a lot hmm? The cape he will have is similar to this pattern but we will have the hood missing. I did this to save money. The pants are like this: Pant design. Everything worn is gray, mostly, and almost echoing a confederate like design in uniform. His costume requires a lot of alterations and additions, but we want it authentic to the original designer (my husband!) and my son is a total strict "It has to be like that" guy. So we are detail detail detail!
My eldest son, who I did not expect to dress up, is! He is shooting for a...self-designed persona. So far he has chosen a top hat, white shirt, black dress slacks, a pair of vampire teeth that are very realistic and fit on the teeth and not just those silly mouth sets, and a mask. The idea is quite interesting and I have a feeling it will all be extremely imaginative and creative! I can't wait to see what he does to complete it all!
Updates as we create and fix these costumes, I promise, along with prices for items and what we spent along the way!
Battles & Relations
There is a certain battle going on in my head over someone of my past and I hate having it churn around in there. Sometimes I want to act on my impulses and do what they wish for something like this, but there is a very strong hesitancy holding that back. It's like a beast if it is holding me back from doing something I want more than anything to do. So the battle will probably continue for a little bit and then fade away as my kids and the day start to come into focus more and more. Until then, the battle is going to consume me a little. I can't even seem to distract myself enough to fix me something to eat. I have the kids munching on a few things now....maybe digging about for something will distract me, and get me to have food with my pills for once and not just tea.
To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing it's best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting. - E.E. Cummings (I'm related to E.E. Cummings. That's so cool!)
To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing it's best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting. - E.E. Cummings (I'm related to E.E. Cummings. That's so cool!)
Thursday, September 16, 2010
The Hospital: The Crap I Do To Myself (Part 3)
When I was finally put in a room at the Hospital it was 6AM and all I can remember is a Nurse coming in to ask me about 300 questions about everything in the world about me. I'm all for past medical problems, family history, and even geneology but seriously, that much question and answer session without sleep? No! They should be more polite! Let us sleep, precious! Let us sleep!
The Nurse finally finished and told me as soon as a Doctor approved of a diet for me and then arranged for tests and other tidbits I would be able to rest and eat. I had been up since the morning of the 10th. It was the morning of the 11th, and I still had not had a chance to call my husband to tell him I was doing better, though I had not learned what what I had yet, at least I was stable enough and the pain was something I was prepared for now, and whatever medicine they had started me on, was helping ease the pain somewhat.
A Doctor and his troops finally came in at 8 AM. Breakfast came in to my room mate. The lady or man across the hall screamed hate for the food, startling me. The Doctor told me that the patient who was yelling would be moved eventually due to causing emotional distress for his or her room mate as well as others on the floor. Well, that is nice, I was thinking, because that would drive me nuts! The person was extremely loud and sounded very out of sorts. The Doctor finally told me that after a few more blood tests they would make sure I could eat something and get on a food plan for the next few days. Next few days? Why do I have to stay for days?
"So far we are positive of some things. You do have extremely high blood pressure. You do have Atypical pneumonia. You do have Pulmonary edema. You do have a mid-sized Pulmonary Embolism. We think you also have a Pericardial effusion, but we need to do more tests to be sure. We are starting you immediately on (mentioned about a million drugs here) so that we can get you on a non-lethal path and back to being healthy."
I had no idea what any of that meant. He knew it too. So he nodded and left the room, leaving me with a handful of student Doctors to explain that the Atypical pneumonia, or walking pneumonia, started to mingle and play with other cells in my body to start up the Pericardial effusion. This made the Atypical pneumonia worsen with each week, leading up to the Pulmonary edema. And of course, all this lead to the Pulmonary Embolism because the fluids mingled with high blood pressure problems. So, a cold turned into walking pneumonia, which grew into fluid around my heart, which went to fluid in my lungs, which then ended up a blood clot that was mingling about. The aspirin made it move and slide enough to cause pain, cut off sections of my lung from having blood flow, and that was how simple it was. Simple? Really?
The Nurse finally finished and told me as soon as a Doctor approved of a diet for me and then arranged for tests and other tidbits I would be able to rest and eat. I had been up since the morning of the 10th. It was the morning of the 11th, and I still had not had a chance to call my husband to tell him I was doing better, though I had not learned what what I had yet, at least I was stable enough and the pain was something I was prepared for now, and whatever medicine they had started me on, was helping ease the pain somewhat.
A Doctor and his troops finally came in at 8 AM. Breakfast came in to my room mate. The lady or man across the hall screamed hate for the food, startling me. The Doctor told me that the patient who was yelling would be moved eventually due to causing emotional distress for his or her room mate as well as others on the floor. Well, that is nice, I was thinking, because that would drive me nuts! The person was extremely loud and sounded very out of sorts. The Doctor finally told me that after a few more blood tests they would make sure I could eat something and get on a food plan for the next few days. Next few days? Why do I have to stay for days?
"So far we are positive of some things. You do have extremely high blood pressure. You do have Atypical pneumonia. You do have Pulmonary edema. You do have a mid-sized Pulmonary Embolism. We think you also have a Pericardial effusion, but we need to do more tests to be sure. We are starting you immediately on (mentioned about a million drugs here) so that we can get you on a non-lethal path and back to being healthy."
I had no idea what any of that meant. He knew it too. So he nodded and left the room, leaving me with a handful of student Doctors to explain that the Atypical pneumonia, or walking pneumonia, started to mingle and play with other cells in my body to start up the Pericardial effusion. This made the Atypical pneumonia worsen with each week, leading up to the Pulmonary edema. And of course, all this lead to the Pulmonary Embolism because the fluids mingled with high blood pressure problems. So, a cold turned into walking pneumonia, which grew into fluid around my heart, which went to fluid in my lungs, which then ended up a blood clot that was mingling about. The aspirin made it move and slide enough to cause pain, cut off sections of my lung from having blood flow, and that was how simple it was. Simple? Really?
The E.R.: The Crap I Do To Myself (Part 2)
In the hospital they asked several questions. I filled out papers and even answered some more questions while they took my blood pressure. The high numbers on the blood pressure machine, and my temperature, made them hook me up to an EKG immediately in a room next door. They placed sensor pieces on my legs, my chest area, and my stomach area. I had no idea what they all did, but I did know on the shows that speak med speak an EKG, or a Electrocardiography, reads the heart through those sensors and it is based on the heart beat and the muscles of the heart. Read more about EKG's here.
I still do not remember what my blood pressure was. I do know that it was not as high as it was when I was having my son, Mr. D., now that was high ladies and gentlemen. I was so very close to having some kind of attack with those numbers. Thank goodness having the baby stopped that! Moving back to the EKG and the hospital. Once they did the EKG they switched over to me moving into another section of the E.R.. I sat in the E.R., on a stretcher with wheels, near the Nurse Desk, while people moved back and forth with whatever they had to do there for over 20 minutes. I was hurting. I was sweating from the pain, hunched over, and occasionally I know I moaned because when the pain hit, from a deep breath or something else, I was dying from the pain. I now understand and can define the word agony.
Finally a nurse came. She fussed and cussed like a sailor at me sitting in the walkway like I was. She moved me toward a room, then stopped, realizing it was already occupied. She sighed and moved me back to where they had me, and gave me a robe. I had to remove my clothes then and there, in the narrow walk space between holding rooms of the E.R. and the Nurse desk. All I could think of was the men all around there and ugh..I had to do what!? It makes me grin even now. I put this big floppy robe on me first, with her help, and making a tent like shape around me we moved everything off of me without even flashing one inch of skin. Praise be the intelligent and caring Nurse! Once we did that she covered me up, placed my clothes and things in that typical drawstring hospital bag that crackles and crinkles, and said she would be back because she wanted to find me a doctor and a space to get into.
I think by that time I was used to the pain. I wish I could say I never did get used to it. But I am used to it. I still have the pains every now and then. Moving back to the Hospital: I had a breathing pattern for when the pain came. I figured out how to breathe very, very slowly and it would not hurt as badly. It was tolerable. When the nurse came back she was ready to take me to a nook in the one end of the E.R., but another nurse showed up. He took charge and immediately had me across to another section of the E.R., telling the lady I was his now. She smiled and moved on. I still don't remember her name. I will always remember her kindness.
The male nurse was just as kind and he was hooking me up to all sorts of machines. The sounds reminded me of when Little A was in the hospital as a baby. The bloops and beeps of the machines reading her vital signs. I had the same things on me. When he clipped the glowing finger reader on my hand I almost cried. I felt my heart clench from the emotion of the memory, and being tired, and in pain, and sick...it all just hit me at once, and the machines went off all willy nilly, and he was asking me to breathe and calm down because of my blood pressure. The pain was so, so damn strong when I got upset. It took a lot to breathe slowly and get myself back on track. Once I did everything was getting back to whatever is "normal" for me. The machines calmed down. He was happy, went out to do some orders for me, and came back with pills to take for my blood pressure and then to give me some hospital socks. Of all things. Socks. But they made my feet feel better. How odd. Something that simple making things feel better.
In this large E.R. room I was hooked up to machines reading me. The curtain was closed. I could not see any activity but I could hear so much of it on the other side of the fabric. I heard talking. I heard some laughter. I smelled food. I smelled medicine. He arrived again, and I do not even know how long he was gone, and checked on me, looked at my arms for IV's, and then headed back out. I spent nearly seven hours in that room. People came back and forth with different duties. I got an IV put in. Medicine was started on them. Blood samples were taken. I got an x-ray around my chest. Then more blood was taken. Eventually I was given some morphine for pain. It did not do a thing. I was so unsurprised by that. I finally asked what was going on. The nurse told me that I was being held in the E.R. till the doctors could figure that out. Oh. Yay.
I still do not remember what my blood pressure was. I do know that it was not as high as it was when I was having my son, Mr. D., now that was high ladies and gentlemen. I was so very close to having some kind of attack with those numbers. Thank goodness having the baby stopped that! Moving back to the EKG and the hospital. Once they did the EKG they switched over to me moving into another section of the E.R.. I sat in the E.R., on a stretcher with wheels, near the Nurse Desk, while people moved back and forth with whatever they had to do there for over 20 minutes. I was hurting. I was sweating from the pain, hunched over, and occasionally I know I moaned because when the pain hit, from a deep breath or something else, I was dying from the pain. I now understand and can define the word agony.
Finally a nurse came. She fussed and cussed like a sailor at me sitting in the walkway like I was. She moved me toward a room, then stopped, realizing it was already occupied. She sighed and moved me back to where they had me, and gave me a robe. I had to remove my clothes then and there, in the narrow walk space between holding rooms of the E.R. and the Nurse desk. All I could think of was the men all around there and ugh..I had to do what!? It makes me grin even now. I put this big floppy robe on me first, with her help, and making a tent like shape around me we moved everything off of me without even flashing one inch of skin. Praise be the intelligent and caring Nurse! Once we did that she covered me up, placed my clothes and things in that typical drawstring hospital bag that crackles and crinkles, and said she would be back because she wanted to find me a doctor and a space to get into.
I think by that time I was used to the pain. I wish I could say I never did get used to it. But I am used to it. I still have the pains every now and then. Moving back to the Hospital: I had a breathing pattern for when the pain came. I figured out how to breathe very, very slowly and it would not hurt as badly. It was tolerable. When the nurse came back she was ready to take me to a nook in the one end of the E.R., but another nurse showed up. He took charge and immediately had me across to another section of the E.R., telling the lady I was his now. She smiled and moved on. I still don't remember her name. I will always remember her kindness.
The male nurse was just as kind and he was hooking me up to all sorts of machines. The sounds reminded me of when Little A was in the hospital as a baby. The bloops and beeps of the machines reading her vital signs. I had the same things on me. When he clipped the glowing finger reader on my hand I almost cried. I felt my heart clench from the emotion of the memory, and being tired, and in pain, and sick...it all just hit me at once, and the machines went off all willy nilly, and he was asking me to breathe and calm down because of my blood pressure. The pain was so, so damn strong when I got upset. It took a lot to breathe slowly and get myself back on track. Once I did everything was getting back to whatever is "normal" for me. The machines calmed down. He was happy, went out to do some orders for me, and came back with pills to take for my blood pressure and then to give me some hospital socks. Of all things. Socks. But they made my feet feel better. How odd. Something that simple making things feel better.
In this large E.R. room I was hooked up to machines reading me. The curtain was closed. I could not see any activity but I could hear so much of it on the other side of the fabric. I heard talking. I heard some laughter. I smelled food. I smelled medicine. He arrived again, and I do not even know how long he was gone, and checked on me, looked at my arms for IV's, and then headed back out. I spent nearly seven hours in that room. People came back and forth with different duties. I got an IV put in. Medicine was started on them. Blood samples were taken. I got an x-ray around my chest. Then more blood was taken. Eventually I was given some morphine for pain. It did not do a thing. I was so unsurprised by that. I finally asked what was going on. The nurse told me that I was being held in the E.R. till the doctors could figure that out. Oh. Yay.
Unhealthy Delay: The Crap I Do To Myself (Part 1)
It all started with...a cough with pink phlegm.
"What the hell?"
I ignored it. That was in October 2009 just before we were heading out to do...something. Heck, I can't even remember what we were going out to do. After that, every time I moved too much, moving up and down the stairs, walking into the store from the parking lot, walking in the store...any physical movements ended up with me coughing up pink phlegm. I looked it up on-line. There are so many things that are involved with pink phlegm! I just nudged it into the "I have a cold" category and ignored it. We did not have insurance yet. I could not afford a doctor's appointment. Why go for a cold?
November. I couldn't walk five feet without feeling like I needed to sit down. I couldn't get a breath in. I felt tired. God, so damn tired. It was like I felt like I weighed 8000 pounds and there was no way to breathe sometimes. Eventually I slept on my left side without much problem. I would stay that way. All day long. I was able to fix food....then flop down again. I would walk so slow when we were out. It was like walking in thick mud. I know it was worrying my family, and me, but still...no insurance! We could barely get on with what we were making. More bills would mean harsher times. I would not do that to my family. Boy oh boy, what in the world was I thinking? Well, as I know, I am not alone with those thoughts. Many people think these thoughts more often than not. Many put off health care to save money. I was not alone!
December was just as bad and I was getting used to it all. Getting used to it. That phrase scares me. I could not walk more than a few feet before I stopped. I could not take in a full breath. I actually used to force myself to try to breathe in like I could once upon a time. I could count to 14 or 15 seconds for a deep, full breath during meditation. In December I was only able to count to 5. Five seconds of breathing. What was I thinking? Yes, we were not insured, but....never again. I would rather have bills than do that ever again. Please, if you are reading this. If you are ill, and you do not have insurance, go anyway!!! Please. Trust me. Go.
January 2010! Finally our insurance will kick in. We hear it will kick in around the middle of January or so, but I can go and they can call the insurance people since we were waiting on a card. I made an appointment for January 17th to go into the doctor, finally. I would be seen and it would all be over. Around January 3rd I started to crave....Aspirin. I would eat it every four hours. I would get up at night to just put one on my tongue...taste it, and spit it out because I was worried about overdosing on it, or hurting my stomach...or anything. It was odd! I even researched aspirin addiction to see if there was such a thing. Nothing could be found about it being an actual addiction....I was so confused! Why would I crave aspirin like it was the only thing I could ever want?
January 10th, my symptoms were worse, I coughed up blood and not just pink phlegm. It was time to go to the doctor without an appointment. I decided to go to the E.R. when my husband came home after work on the 11th. He agreed to take me. I sat down to this computer. I had a glass of milk, aspirin, and a couple of peanut butter crackers. Byron went to bed and Little A soon followed. Mr. D was on the day bed near me in the living room where he fell asleep. I was about to play some game or maybe check e-mail. I reached for the milk....and I was met with a fresh, deep pain in my right side. Just under the armpit, and into my chest area.
When I gasped from the pain that I felt....the pain grew to a fire like burn that cut off the breath, leaving me frightened and unsure as to what I should do. Was I having a heart attack? Was it a stroke? Was it just heart burn and if I burped would it go away, and was heart burn like that!? I didn't like it if it was! (I have never had heart burn..) Then my thoughts went to the aspirin. What if taking it, being addicted to it, had caused my stomach to wear out? What if this was the stomach lining worn out and eaten through? I was breaking out into a sweat when I got up, finally "getting it" that I needed to go to the E.R.. Now not the next day! I concentrated on breathing.
I got up slowly, walked, half-bent over into the bedroom, and woke up my husband who had just laid down. I actually felt bad waking him up. I got my shoes on. I still don't know how I did that. I grabbed my wallet. Then my robe. My baby boy had my coat and was all curled up in it. I moved with my husband out of the house, leaving the sleeping babies behind with their Uncle downstairs. I don't believe we even told him we were going to the Hospital! I kept worrying about them on the way to the E.R..
Half-way there I was ready to just flop over. I have a high pain tolerance. I have a huge, huge pain tolerance. This was really, really intense pain. I remember my husband telling me it wasn't too far. I think he said other things. I really wish I could remember what they were. I do know they were calming words, though, because we suddenly were at the E.R..
I just wanted my husband to go back home and be with the kids. I was worried about them more than me. He stayed until he was sure I was being watched closely and went home. I later heard that the kids were at the door when he got home, asking about me, and if I went to the hospital. What a night....my goodness. I can not imagine waking up to hear your parents going to the hospital....and then suddenly they were gone out the door? Wow. Just, wow.
"What the hell?"
I ignored it. That was in October 2009 just before we were heading out to do...something. Heck, I can't even remember what we were going out to do. After that, every time I moved too much, moving up and down the stairs, walking into the store from the parking lot, walking in the store...any physical movements ended up with me coughing up pink phlegm. I looked it up on-line. There are so many things that are involved with pink phlegm! I just nudged it into the "I have a cold" category and ignored it. We did not have insurance yet. I could not afford a doctor's appointment. Why go for a cold?
November. I couldn't walk five feet without feeling like I needed to sit down. I couldn't get a breath in. I felt tired. God, so damn tired. It was like I felt like I weighed 8000 pounds and there was no way to breathe sometimes. Eventually I slept on my left side without much problem. I would stay that way. All day long. I was able to fix food....then flop down again. I would walk so slow when we were out. It was like walking in thick mud. I know it was worrying my family, and me, but still...no insurance! We could barely get on with what we were making. More bills would mean harsher times. I would not do that to my family. Boy oh boy, what in the world was I thinking? Well, as I know, I am not alone with those thoughts. Many people think these thoughts more often than not. Many put off health care to save money. I was not alone!
December was just as bad and I was getting used to it all. Getting used to it. That phrase scares me. I could not walk more than a few feet before I stopped. I could not take in a full breath. I actually used to force myself to try to breathe in like I could once upon a time. I could count to 14 or 15 seconds for a deep, full breath during meditation. In December I was only able to count to 5. Five seconds of breathing. What was I thinking? Yes, we were not insured, but....never again. I would rather have bills than do that ever again. Please, if you are reading this. If you are ill, and you do not have insurance, go anyway!!! Please. Trust me. Go.
January 2010! Finally our insurance will kick in. We hear it will kick in around the middle of January or so, but I can go and they can call the insurance people since we were waiting on a card. I made an appointment for January 17th to go into the doctor, finally. I would be seen and it would all be over. Around January 3rd I started to crave....Aspirin. I would eat it every four hours. I would get up at night to just put one on my tongue...taste it, and spit it out because I was worried about overdosing on it, or hurting my stomach...or anything. It was odd! I even researched aspirin addiction to see if there was such a thing. Nothing could be found about it being an actual addiction....I was so confused! Why would I crave aspirin like it was the only thing I could ever want?
January 10th, my symptoms were worse, I coughed up blood and not just pink phlegm. It was time to go to the doctor without an appointment. I decided to go to the E.R. when my husband came home after work on the 11th. He agreed to take me. I sat down to this computer. I had a glass of milk, aspirin, and a couple of peanut butter crackers. Byron went to bed and Little A soon followed. Mr. D was on the day bed near me in the living room where he fell asleep. I was about to play some game or maybe check e-mail. I reached for the milk....and I was met with a fresh, deep pain in my right side. Just under the armpit, and into my chest area.
When I gasped from the pain that I felt....the pain grew to a fire like burn that cut off the breath, leaving me frightened and unsure as to what I should do. Was I having a heart attack? Was it a stroke? Was it just heart burn and if I burped would it go away, and was heart burn like that!? I didn't like it if it was! (I have never had heart burn..) Then my thoughts went to the aspirin. What if taking it, being addicted to it, had caused my stomach to wear out? What if this was the stomach lining worn out and eaten through? I was breaking out into a sweat when I got up, finally "getting it" that I needed to go to the E.R.. Now not the next day! I concentrated on breathing.
I got up slowly, walked, half-bent over into the bedroom, and woke up my husband who had just laid down. I actually felt bad waking him up. I got my shoes on. I still don't know how I did that. I grabbed my wallet. Then my robe. My baby boy had my coat and was all curled up in it. I moved with my husband out of the house, leaving the sleeping babies behind with their Uncle downstairs. I don't believe we even told him we were going to the Hospital! I kept worrying about them on the way to the E.R..
Half-way there I was ready to just flop over. I have a high pain tolerance. I have a huge, huge pain tolerance. This was really, really intense pain. I remember my husband telling me it wasn't too far. I think he said other things. I really wish I could remember what they were. I do know they were calming words, though, because we suddenly were at the E.R..
I just wanted my husband to go back home and be with the kids. I was worried about them more than me. He stayed until he was sure I was being watched closely and went home. I later heard that the kids were at the door when he got home, asking about me, and if I went to the hospital. What a night....my goodness. I can not imagine waking up to hear your parents going to the hospital....and then suddenly they were gone out the door? Wow. Just, wow.
Just Like A Dory
I believed what happened to me (um, well, one of my main health problems anyway) was called TMI, but it is not TMI! It's a TIA!! I'm sure I have suffered from TMI before (too much information!) but you know, it isn't a disease or a condition and....actually if I'm really sarcastic it could be a disease...
Carrying on. One of the conditions I have had to deal with, and sadly, I am still recovering from, is a Transient ischemic attack. Basically, and luckily, I was in the hospital when my TIA happened. I was in bed, and had just eaten, when the left side of my body gave out on me. I was reaching for my water pitcher, and in my head I had put my hand around the handle, but....no. Nope. It was not on the handle. It was still resting on the bed near me. I tried again, and it moved some, but it was weak. I tried again, and as a Nurse aid came in, I told her - very slurred as I spoke, that I was having trouble moving my arm. She went out to get a Nurse. That nurse came in, spoke with me, saw my face was not moving when I spoke (just on one side), heard the slurring, and went to get one of my doctors. He in turn came in, same thing happened, and he left and got a specialist.
And soon I was no longer in my old room. I was moved to the stroke center to be observed and watched. I have never been so @#$%# scared in my life. I thought my blood clot was something to be scared of, but no, this was worse. I knew what I wanted to speak about, what I wanted to say, but it never happened. The voice was not mine. It was slurred, it was slow and completely babble. My brain was saying "That is not me." but it was. Frustrating. Frightening. Even now I feel that I should have been able to speak better and that it was all so...out of body.
I have already had a battle - and it is still creeping in with my TIA complications - of Bells Palsy. Because of the Palsy symptoms being such a close mimic of some of the signs of having a stroke (and the TIA), I went into the E.R.. I was admitted. It took a couple of days of tests to make sure it was just Bells Palsy and not a stroke or another TIA. Once the Palsy left I thought it would stay gone, but occasionally my lips can actually flicker into a pucker on their own and stay stuck that way for a few seconds. I do not feel this is a huge thing to deal with, however, if I do it in public I hope to whatever god may be listening to make sure I am not puckering up toward some trucker with plumber jeans on! Egh!
From what I have been told by the Specialist, about my TIA, is I had risk factors that just gave my brain no chance of fully recovering. There is some damaged brain cells up there. Some affect the left side of my body. I have weak hands now. I can sometimes get stuck on stairs. My left leg is like "um, what...oh...yeah moving..right.." so I get into a delay. I believe, in all certaintly, that I have become Dory from Finding Nemo. Yes! I love her! And it explains how I can be, sometimes. Just like a Dory.
Other complications affect my mind and...I don't know what section it is though. I get words mixed up in my head. Their meaning changes on me. My mind totally believes, as an example, that this is a perfectly good way to speak:
I am going to the bathroom to cook up a good roast.
My mind agrees that bathroom is the right room to do that, then I do a Homer...doh! No, I mean kitchen ! Not the bathroom! I find myself doing a mental shake, and sometimes I laugh so much. Some of the mixed up things can be a little crazy! It's good to have the humor!
The other complications are just from everything I have dealt with since October of 2009. That is when I started to get sick. That is when it all began to go down hill....but not now! Now, I'm Dory, and now, I just keep swimming! Yep, Just Keep Swimmin!
Carrying on. One of the conditions I have had to deal with, and sadly, I am still recovering from, is a Transient ischemic attack. Basically, and luckily, I was in the hospital when my TIA happened. I was in bed, and had just eaten, when the left side of my body gave out on me. I was reaching for my water pitcher, and in my head I had put my hand around the handle, but....no. Nope. It was not on the handle. It was still resting on the bed near me. I tried again, and it moved some, but it was weak. I tried again, and as a Nurse aid came in, I told her - very slurred as I spoke, that I was having trouble moving my arm. She went out to get a Nurse. That nurse came in, spoke with me, saw my face was not moving when I spoke (just on one side), heard the slurring, and went to get one of my doctors. He in turn came in, same thing happened, and he left and got a specialist.
And soon I was no longer in my old room. I was moved to the stroke center to be observed and watched. I have never been so @#$%# scared in my life. I thought my blood clot was something to be scared of, but no, this was worse. I knew what I wanted to speak about, what I wanted to say, but it never happened. The voice was not mine. It was slurred, it was slow and completely babble. My brain was saying "That is not me." but it was. Frustrating. Frightening. Even now I feel that I should have been able to speak better and that it was all so...out of body.
I have already had a battle - and it is still creeping in with my TIA complications - of Bells Palsy. Because of the Palsy symptoms being such a close mimic of some of the signs of having a stroke (and the TIA), I went into the E.R.. I was admitted. It took a couple of days of tests to make sure it was just Bells Palsy and not a stroke or another TIA. Once the Palsy left I thought it would stay gone, but occasionally my lips can actually flicker into a pucker on their own and stay stuck that way for a few seconds. I do not feel this is a huge thing to deal with, however, if I do it in public I hope to whatever god may be listening to make sure I am not puckering up toward some trucker with plumber jeans on! Egh!
From what I have been told by the Specialist, about my TIA, is I had risk factors that just gave my brain no chance of fully recovering. There is some damaged brain cells up there. Some affect the left side of my body. I have weak hands now. I can sometimes get stuck on stairs. My left leg is like "um, what...oh...yeah moving..right.." so I get into a delay. I believe, in all certaintly, that I have become Dory from Finding Nemo. Yes! I love her! And it explains how I can be, sometimes. Just like a Dory.
Other complications affect my mind and...I don't know what section it is though. I get words mixed up in my head. Their meaning changes on me. My mind totally believes, as an example, that this is a perfectly good way to speak:
I am going to the bathroom to cook up a good roast.
My mind agrees that bathroom is the right room to do that, then I do a Homer...doh! No, I mean kitchen ! Not the bathroom! I find myself doing a mental shake, and sometimes I laugh so much. Some of the mixed up things can be a little crazy! It's good to have the humor!
The other complications are just from everything I have dealt with since October of 2009. That is when I started to get sick. That is when it all began to go down hill....but not now! Now, I'm Dory, and now, I just keep swimming! Yep, Just Keep Swimmin!
Oops! and Zion
I honestly thought I had my husband's blog on here in one of my posts, but I think after an edit I did, it was gone! So here it is, because today I told him I mentioned his blog! Oops! Leave it to my brain! I know where it was taken and why though! See, we took this trip north to a place called Zion, Illinois, back in December, just around Christmas, and there were some incidents up there that he has already blogged so I though I would just make it easy and let you go read his blog because he writes better than me, and it's another location to visit! So, enjoy! And, sorry honey. I <3 U! O.M.G. !!!! (That was so sarcastic it oozed out of my screen. We dislike text talk so much and just spoke about it tonight! Ha!)
Castle Mad Baron
Castle Mad Baron
Pot
Oh you guys are terrible if you believed I meant marijuana. No, no, no, but yes, I did inhale about 23 years ago in the backseat of a car crowded with other friends and second hand smoke. Nothing happened to me. I was too drunk on alcohol. Oh yes, I was that bad. I smoked, I did drink, and I did do marijuana once and since it didn't do anything to me, I thought it was boring and never touched it again. Alcohol was the faster buzz of choice then. Goodness, it sounds like I was born in the age of sex, drugs, and rock n' roll! But no, it was the 80's.
The Pot I refer to is the name of a recipe I came up with out of my nearly empty cabinets of food, or, well, pantry fixings. It is amazing what you can come up with sometimes with just two or three items. Pot is the ingredients of a pot pie, but without the meat or the pie crust. It is basically the basic innards of a pot pie. So I called it..Pot. Yes, I know I'm laughing at the silliness myself but hey, I have to find amusement somewhere every now or then or I may as well be insane!
To make Pot: (oh my gosh it's getting worse..! Ha!)
Drippings from roasted chicken. I had two cups. Including the fat. (Oh yes I am a baaaaad girl, I did inhale and I keep fat drippings!) Plus one cup of water. I placed these in a roasting pan, stirring it up to mix it well.
I added a full box of noodles. I think it was a 16oz box of mixed noodles we had put together to save space. Spirals, also called Gemili, mixed with some Penne but I do not know which Penne! So just, grab some noodles of your choice! I get the odd shaped noodles for fun with the kids.
I let the noodles cook in the roasting pan in the over until they are soft. I do not drain them. I added a little bit of flour to the simmering liquid to make it like a gravy! Mmmm, yummy. Then I added:
2 Cups of Iron Chef brand Panko. Plug ahead: Panko are the unique Japanese bread crumbs that are the #1 choice for chefs. Panko bread crumbs give a crunchier, lighter crusting to fried and baked foods. All Iron Chef Panko is all natural, and certified kosher!! They're also yummy, but you don't have to get the Iron Chef brand. I picked that up to try and splurge. They were delicious but expensive compared to a normal bag or box of Panko from another brand. So any Panko will do, but any bread crumbs will do too! Heck, you can make your own! (Later recipe..)
2 cups of green beans (I accidentally put in peas, which is allowed too, but my husband does not like peas so green beans from now on for us.)
2 cups of carrots (Remember you can add corn too or any other veggie you like!)
That's all! I just put it on a plate and served it up! It is delicious, and the Panko/Bread Crumbs serve as a good pie crust substitute and are actually less fattening! I even think this would be very good cold and for picnics because it is not very messy as you may think it is.
The Pot I refer to is the name of a recipe I came up with out of my nearly empty cabinets of food, or, well, pantry fixings. It is amazing what you can come up with sometimes with just two or three items. Pot is the ingredients of a pot pie, but without the meat or the pie crust. It is basically the basic innards of a pot pie. So I called it..Pot. Yes, I know I'm laughing at the silliness myself but hey, I have to find amusement somewhere every now or then or I may as well be insane!
To make Pot: (oh my gosh it's getting worse..! Ha!)
Drippings from roasted chicken. I had two cups. Including the fat. (Oh yes I am a baaaaad girl, I did inhale and I keep fat drippings!) Plus one cup of water. I placed these in a roasting pan, stirring it up to mix it well.
I added a full box of noodles. I think it was a 16oz box of mixed noodles we had put together to save space. Spirals, also called Gemili, mixed with some Penne but I do not know which Penne! So just, grab some noodles of your choice! I get the odd shaped noodles for fun with the kids.
I let the noodles cook in the roasting pan in the over until they are soft. I do not drain them. I added a little bit of flour to the simmering liquid to make it like a gravy! Mmmm, yummy. Then I added:
2 Cups of Iron Chef brand Panko. Plug ahead: Panko are the unique Japanese bread crumbs that are the #1 choice for chefs. Panko bread crumbs give a crunchier, lighter crusting to fried and baked foods. All Iron Chef Panko is all natural, and certified kosher!! They're also yummy, but you don't have to get the Iron Chef brand. I picked that up to try and splurge. They were delicious but expensive compared to a normal bag or box of Panko from another brand. So any Panko will do, but any bread crumbs will do too! Heck, you can make your own! (Later recipe..)
2 cups of green beans (I accidentally put in peas, which is allowed too, but my husband does not like peas so green beans from now on for us.)
2 cups of carrots (Remember you can add corn too or any other veggie you like!)
That's all! I just put it on a plate and served it up! It is delicious, and the Panko/Bread Crumbs serve as a good pie crust substitute and are actually less fattening! I even think this would be very good cold and for picnics because it is not very messy as you may think it is.
Sugar & Hair Itches
What I thought was brown sugar turned out to be a bag of unaltered sugar. Unaltered? Unprocessed may sound better. This is my brain. This is my brain after a TIA. My brain is affected just as much as the left side of my body was affected. I know if I keep working my brain with certain activities it will strengthen it and some of these odd lapses will stop, or at least, not happen as often, but when my leg stops working on the stairs and I can't go up or back down? Hmm...I start to think I need to work on my body more than my mind.
Anyway, what I thought was brown sugar is just raw sugar. I didn't even know I bought it, and it was some time ago because this is the first time I have thought of making anything cookie like from scratch for months. I felt very good and wanted to try making some again. Discovering raw sugar is nice, because I was almost out of sugar for tea and coffee, but it is also something new for us and I need to remember it is stronger than the regular processed white sugar. With raw sugar, less is more, and learning that is taking a few times for all of us. Wow, how sweet it was this morning! I could not believe how sweet it was compared to what I normally make. It was like a dessert tea! But at least we have sugar. We were low, extremely so, and now we're good to go. I am not one of those people who will cut out sugar from my diet. Sorry, no. I already cut so much more out of my diet now why in the hell would I cut out more? No, no no no! Muhahahaha!
Ok, moment over.
Instead of doing cookies I'm making pumpkin bread. Mmmmmmm. Pumpkin bread. It will be faster and fill the kids up better than the blueberry muffins or jello I have started. Have you ever made Jello in a bag? I have. It's....unique......and I do this for no reason other than I do it. I guess experimentation is fun every now and then.
Oh, the hair itching. I gave B and D both hair cuts. More like head shaves ....yeah....um...let's just say the clippers sucked! I am going to get a set of clippers that works and not these things that should be beard only. I have no idea what we were thinking, but I'm going to make sure we have it on the Wish List. Oh I should post about that. Hmm, so much to think about and post! But after I get a cup o' tea for me and the kids, some pumpkin bread in the oven, and consider my meager pantry items for dinner. Oh boy. Here we go again.
Anyway, what I thought was brown sugar is just raw sugar. I didn't even know I bought it, and it was some time ago because this is the first time I have thought of making anything cookie like from scratch for months. I felt very good and wanted to try making some again. Discovering raw sugar is nice, because I was almost out of sugar for tea and coffee, but it is also something new for us and I need to remember it is stronger than the regular processed white sugar. With raw sugar, less is more, and learning that is taking a few times for all of us. Wow, how sweet it was this morning! I could not believe how sweet it was compared to what I normally make. It was like a dessert tea! But at least we have sugar. We were low, extremely so, and now we're good to go. I am not one of those people who will cut out sugar from my diet. Sorry, no. I already cut so much more out of my diet now why in the hell would I cut out more? No, no no no! Muhahahaha!
Ok, moment over.
Instead of doing cookies I'm making pumpkin bread. Mmmmmmm. Pumpkin bread. It will be faster and fill the kids up better than the blueberry muffins or jello I have started. Have you ever made Jello in a bag? I have. It's....unique......and I do this for no reason other than I do it. I guess experimentation is fun every now and then.
Oh, the hair itching. I gave B and D both hair cuts. More like head shaves ....yeah....um...let's just say the clippers sucked! I am going to get a set of clippers that works and not these things that should be beard only. I have no idea what we were thinking, but I'm going to make sure we have it on the Wish List. Oh I should post about that. Hmm, so much to think about and post! But after I get a cup o' tea for me and the kids, some pumpkin bread in the oven, and consider my meager pantry items for dinner. Oh boy. Here we go again.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Cuboard Was Bare
It's time for me to figure out some meals! For a few days, at least, with minimal ingredients that may not work for this family. I have some picky eaters....alright, I can honestly say, I am not picky about anything I eat...and I am the only one. So who does that leave? Oh yeah. All of them!!! So here we go!
What I have:
Breakfast and Snacks on Wednesday: muffins made with powered milk; and tea to drink
Dinner on Wednesday: Chicken Legs, broken down into four pieces, Green Beans, Corn, roasted peppers and onions. Tea to drink. Milk to drink if the kids like the flavor of powdered.
Breakfast and snacks on Thursday: muffins made with the milk; and tea to drink
Dinner on Thursday: Baked potatoes with pepperoni, peppers, onions, a little of the chicken brother for liquid and flavor. Tea or coffee to drink. Raspberry tea for the kids.
Breakfast and snacks on Friday: muffins again; and tea to drink (we are going to get tired of flavored tea water!!! Or just want another flavor before the end of it all. We only have two flavors at the moment.)
Dinner on Friday: a casserole made of the noodles, the biscuit mix, the last of the broth to make a gravy, the canned peas added, and maybe a little taste of cut onions for flavor. Sliced tomatoes for a side along with beets (beets are for me and my eldest)
Optional snack: Stuffed tomatoes with tuna salad (diced peperoni for hubby too) and onions and peppers.
Optional snack: tuna casserole for everyone; reserved noodle base for B because he does not like tuna!!!
I have a box to go through that my mom sent me. It has jellies in it, that I know of, but maybe something else is inside that I can use right now. Usually her boxes are for Reservations Only! because she sends special, yummy things! I will look in and dig about tomorrow.
What I have:
- one can of tuna
- one can of beets
- one can of peas
- two cans of green beans
- one can of corn
- 5 packets of some muffin mixes (sweet kinds, just add water)
- 2 packets of dry milk, 1 quart each - I extend these when needed
- couple quart sized bags of banana peppers (sliced)
- several roma tomatoes
- several onions
- five potatoes
- canned peppers
- pepperoni
- small bag of noodles
- package of biscuit mix (add water type)
- travel packs of raspberry tea and peach tea
- regular tea bags
- peach tea bags
- coffee
- two chicken leg quarters, roasted
- 1/2 cup chicken broth
Breakfast and Snacks on Wednesday: muffins made with powered milk; and tea to drink
Dinner on Wednesday: Chicken Legs, broken down into four pieces, Green Beans, Corn, roasted peppers and onions. Tea to drink. Milk to drink if the kids like the flavor of powdered.
Breakfast and snacks on Thursday: muffins made with the milk; and tea to drink
Dinner on Thursday: Baked potatoes with pepperoni, peppers, onions, a little of the chicken brother for liquid and flavor. Tea or coffee to drink. Raspberry tea for the kids.
Breakfast and snacks on Friday: muffins again; and tea to drink (we are going to get tired of flavored tea water!!! Or just want another flavor before the end of it all. We only have two flavors at the moment.)
Dinner on Friday: a casserole made of the noodles, the biscuit mix, the last of the broth to make a gravy, the canned peas added, and maybe a little taste of cut onions for flavor. Sliced tomatoes for a side along with beets (beets are for me and my eldest)
Optional snack: Stuffed tomatoes with tuna salad (diced peperoni for hubby too) and onions and peppers.
Optional snack: tuna casserole for everyone; reserved noodle base for B because he does not like tuna!!!
I have a box to go through that my mom sent me. It has jellies in it, that I know of, but maybe something else is inside that I can use right now. Usually her boxes are for Reservations Only! because she sends special, yummy things! I will look in and dig about tomorrow.
Just Keep Swimmin'
Busy day doing nothing but avoidance. It's difficult to want to do things, even things I need to do, when I am mindless because of something stressful.
We are a one income family. Actually, it is a half-income one income...family. Or maybe his two jobs equal one...? Oh yes I am indeed losing it because that is making me laugh! B has a part-time job in one location and works part-time, semi-so?, with the Army National Guard. That would be two part-times so that is one! Oh for goodness sakes my mind is silly.
...and with this one income, this family of (now) five is busy dealing with debt like most in the United States. We are trying to stay afloat even while we are in bowels of the poverty level. Well, they say we are. Do they know something we do not? Whoever decided this is our location on the table of financial means has yet to impress me. I would rather believe we are much better off because of where we could end up being. I'm very greatful for where we are...very grateful. Because I know it can be worse.
I do not blame anyone but ourselves. We chose the paths. We've put ourselves on this spot. So it's up to us to get out. It will just take a little time. We can not help the medical bills from our daughter, my medical bills, the expenses of traveling to hospitals, of paying rent for an apartment when work ran out.....so many things over time! It just means...that much time to erase it!
Dory helps me with this. Yeah, Dory, from Finding Nemo! "Just keep swimmin'!" I know it will get better. Just keep swimmin'....if I keep doing that, it helps me to remember, it will go away. It won't always be this way. No matter how bad it gets. Today, tomorrow...are pretty bad for us. We have not been in this spot in some time. It will take a lot of my patience to work through the kids, who do not understand why we can not get bread right now, or milk right now...
My eldest gets it, but not the little one's. My middle baby, Little A, does understand the words "no money". She gets that very well. She also understands "it will have to wait" and "not this time". But sometimes, when a favorite cereal has to be passed over for milk, or when a favorite fruit is not bought because the price is no longer low enough.....it can get difficult explaining it. One day I hope they understand we did our best. For now, we just keep swimmin'!
Now to figure out a menu from my somewhat empty pantry....
Weeeee...
We are a one income family. Actually, it is a half-income one income...family. Or maybe his two jobs equal one...? Oh yes I am indeed losing it because that is making me laugh! B has a part-time job in one location and works part-time, semi-so?, with the Army National Guard. That would be two part-times so that is one! Oh for goodness sakes my mind is silly.
...and with this one income, this family of (now) five is busy dealing with debt like most in the United States. We are trying to stay afloat even while we are in bowels of the poverty level. Well, they say we are. Do they know something we do not? Whoever decided this is our location on the table of financial means has yet to impress me. I would rather believe we are much better off because of where we could end up being. I'm very greatful for where we are...very grateful. Because I know it can be worse.
I do not blame anyone but ourselves. We chose the paths. We've put ourselves on this spot. So it's up to us to get out. It will just take a little time. We can not help the medical bills from our daughter, my medical bills, the expenses of traveling to hospitals, of paying rent for an apartment when work ran out.....so many things over time! It just means...that much time to erase it!
Dory helps me with this. Yeah, Dory, from Finding Nemo! "Just keep swimmin'!" I know it will get better. Just keep swimmin'....if I keep doing that, it helps me to remember, it will go away. It won't always be this way. No matter how bad it gets. Today, tomorrow...are pretty bad for us. We have not been in this spot in some time. It will take a lot of my patience to work through the kids, who do not understand why we can not get bread right now, or milk right now...
My eldest gets it, but not the little one's. My middle baby, Little A, does understand the words "no money". She gets that very well. She also understands "it will have to wait" and "not this time". But sometimes, when a favorite cereal has to be passed over for milk, or when a favorite fruit is not bought because the price is no longer low enough.....it can get difficult explaining it. One day I hope they understand we did our best. For now, we just keep swimmin'!
Now to figure out a menu from my somewhat empty pantry....
Weeeee...
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Frugal Noodle
Frugal Noodle is actually a name I should use for the dish(es) that I create using Ramen Noodles. Oh gosh yes, we are a Ramen Noodle Froogle Noodle Family. My husband doesn't enjoy them that much. I know he would rather have pasta. However, pasta is a little bit more money, and when you are saving - or trying to - Ramen Noodles hit the spot as good filler. I came up with a way to make them tastier recently. I thought I had a way to make them good before this, but I was extremely wrong. Oh, the old variant of the recipe is good, but I enjoy the new one I have come up with even better!
First of all, the noodle. I do not buy any other Ramen Noodle but the Maruchan Ramen Noodle Brand. The quality of the noodle is better. Funny to say in such a cheap noodle? No. If I'm going to use them, I get the noodle that holds up better, tastes better, and has an overall better texture. Yes, I said all that over a cheap package of Ramen. Eating cheap does not mean skimping on quality. I have had every brand of Ramen Noodle you can purchase from every department store, grocery store, stop & go place, etc.. and not one brand (cheap brand!) tastes as good as the Maruchan Ramen.
Straight shot out of the honesty section: I do not use the flavor packets!!!
I know I am not alone when I say that the flavor packets that come with Ramen Noodles (any brand) are full of sodium. Even the low sodium packets are! They have flavor too, but, the sodium in those suckers could single handedly be used to keep a whole boat load of meat or fish from spoiling on a long voyage. Too. Much. For. Me, and my family.
When we can not get pasta on sale that will fit a family of five we get Ramen Noodles. It is just a simple pantry staple for when the going gets too tough, and the tough want fed. And around here, they want fed often. (...help...me....my...pantry...is...shrinking...) ahem. Moving on.
I will be putting in some recipes with Froogle Noodles in mind. Please keep an eye open for them, along with some other recipes that I fiddle with. I was so shocked at some of the yummy things we've started to create with even only having two ingredients! Watch for them!
First of all, the noodle. I do not buy any other Ramen Noodle but the Maruchan Ramen Noodle Brand. The quality of the noodle is better. Funny to say in such a cheap noodle? No. If I'm going to use them, I get the noodle that holds up better, tastes better, and has an overall better texture. Yes, I said all that over a cheap package of Ramen. Eating cheap does not mean skimping on quality. I have had every brand of Ramen Noodle you can purchase from every department store, grocery store, stop & go place, etc.. and not one brand (cheap brand!) tastes as good as the Maruchan Ramen.
Straight shot out of the honesty section: I do not use the flavor packets!!!
I know I am not alone when I say that the flavor packets that come with Ramen Noodles (any brand) are full of sodium. Even the low sodium packets are! They have flavor too, but, the sodium in those suckers could single handedly be used to keep a whole boat load of meat or fish from spoiling on a long voyage. Too. Much. For. Me, and my family.
When we can not get pasta on sale that will fit a family of five we get Ramen Noodles. It is just a simple pantry staple for when the going gets too tough, and the tough want fed. And around here, they want fed often. (...help...me....my...pantry...is...shrinking...) ahem. Moving on.
I will be putting in some recipes with Froogle Noodles in mind. Please keep an eye open for them, along with some other recipes that I fiddle with. I was so shocked at some of the yummy things we've started to create with even only having two ingredients! Watch for them!
Friday, September 10, 2010
Chicago Night Drive
We got to see Chicago tonight. It was just turning dark enough to enjoy details of the architecture and capture the view of the cities lights at the same time. The Navy Pier was lit up nicely too, and even the Ferris Wheel was bright as always. I wonder if anyone was on it? B said it was not too cool tonight, but we could feel a chill in the wind that came through the car with the windows down. So I know, up on that Ferris Wheel, I bet it was cooler too!
Half-way up the city, we drove up on Halsted, and B asked how far north we had been on the road before. I couldn't remember so we stayed on it for quite some time. (we turned around at Sheridan) B's Dad, William, has always said, "I would rather take a beating than drive on Halsted." (something similar I probably failed with that..) and we know why he says it, but we also know why we are drawn to that street. It is like a odd carnival scene you can not look away from! If you want to see anything and everything about Chicago drive on Halsted Street!
The smells of the places you can eat, both expensive, gorgeous locations to the run down roach coaches and the "could be featured in Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives " locations stand out on Halsted. They are all very Chicago and all extremely mouth watering! The yummy scents are enough to drive on the Street! And some of the shops and buildings they reside in are even fun to look at, not just smell. Hey, and some have valet parking. Imagine that? Maybe someday B and I can experience that.
Then you have the people to watch. They are so diverse and amazing that there is entertainment there for anyone who likes watching people. I must admit, I rarely watched people. B has slowly got me into watching them. I'm sure we're watched too, but me watching is just odd, and I sometimes feel that it is so extremely wrong to do so, but you just can't help it once you realize how amazing or how fun it can be. Or how frightening. There are some really wacky people out there!
Tonight was fun, and free, which is always something special. Finding free entertainment for families can be hard anywhere. I finally found a web site that shows me free things to do in the Chicago area, and Chicago itself, so that we can save some money and sometimes have places to go! Tomorrow and Sunday there are a few things going on for us to consider. If the children behave we may do that. We'll see how it goes!
Half-way up the city, we drove up on Halsted, and B asked how far north we had been on the road before. I couldn't remember so we stayed on it for quite some time. (we turned around at Sheridan) B's Dad, William, has always said, "I would rather take a beating than drive on Halsted." (something similar I probably failed with that..) and we know why he says it, but we also know why we are drawn to that street. It is like a odd carnival scene you can not look away from! If you want to see anything and everything about Chicago drive on Halsted Street!
The smells of the places you can eat, both expensive, gorgeous locations to the run down roach coaches and the "could be featured in Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives " locations stand out on Halsted. They are all very Chicago and all extremely mouth watering! The yummy scents are enough to drive on the Street! And some of the shops and buildings they reside in are even fun to look at, not just smell. Hey, and some have valet parking. Imagine that? Maybe someday B and I can experience that.
Then you have the people to watch. They are so diverse and amazing that there is entertainment there for anyone who likes watching people. I must admit, I rarely watched people. B has slowly got me into watching them. I'm sure we're watched too, but me watching is just odd, and I sometimes feel that it is so extremely wrong to do so, but you just can't help it once you realize how amazing or how fun it can be. Or how frightening. There are some really wacky people out there!
Tonight was fun, and free, which is always something special. Finding free entertainment for families can be hard anywhere. I finally found a web site that shows me free things to do in the Chicago area, and Chicago itself, so that we can save some money and sometimes have places to go! Tomorrow and Sunday there are a few things going on for us to consider. If the children behave we may do that. We'll see how it goes!
Ring Dancing
I don't know why I'm drawn to Ring Dancing. I am not meaning Round Dancing. Round Dancing is something completely different. Ring Dancing is dancing with rings and not just in a ring. Here is a video example. Watch it all the way through to see the shapes he creates and the story he tells with the hoops. Eventually, he has so many on him, it's a wonder how he keeps them all going:
Ring Dancing
I will hope to have that link created properly and not just one of those http: things hanging there. It has been that long since I did a blog! Terrible isn't it? (Hey, Blogger made making a link so easy! Go Blogger!) If it does not work...go to YouTube and type in Ring Dance! Or Ring Dancing Grand Canyon under the name SoManybooks as the poster.
As you can see by the video (I hope) the rings are used with the dance and there are many shapes with meaning during the dance. The rings they pick up are not just to show off skills! The skill and endurance involved is one thing to applaud, but the feeling and meaning to the dance, to perform it, has so much more feeling and emotion to it! I am always, and completely, drawn to the dance. Humorously, I know it is not because of hula hoops. I can not do that for the life of me. Not as a kid. Not now! (Tongue in cheek. I bet the dancers hear that often!)
Because of feeling that drawn to something I have had role-play characters with part or most of the name. (Yes, I am a geek.) I have an e-mail with part of the name which is the one actually attached to this blog, and now, this blog. Ring Dancing is an art, a creative view of culture, and a wonderful dance of expression and meaning. I want, most of all, my life to be like that. I hope, down the road, I can actually say I let my life be much like a Ring Dancer. One piece at a time, picked up to the rhythm of life to create something beautiful.(And not just my kids, but something more...even though they are beautiful...and cute....and rotten...stopping now. Promise.)
Ring Dancing
I will hope to have that link created properly and not just one of those http: things hanging there. It has been that long since I did a blog! Terrible isn't it? (Hey, Blogger made making a link so easy! Go Blogger!) If it does not work...go to YouTube and type in Ring Dance! Or Ring Dancing Grand Canyon under the name SoManybooks as the poster.
As you can see by the video (I hope) the rings are used with the dance and there are many shapes with meaning during the dance. The rings they pick up are not just to show off skills! The skill and endurance involved is one thing to applaud, but the feeling and meaning to the dance, to perform it, has so much more feeling and emotion to it! I am always, and completely, drawn to the dance. Humorously, I know it is not because of hula hoops. I can not do that for the life of me. Not as a kid. Not now! (Tongue in cheek. I bet the dancers hear that often!)
Because of feeling that drawn to something I have had role-play characters with part or most of the name. (Yes, I am a geek.) I have an e-mail with part of the name which is the one actually attached to this blog, and now, this blog. Ring Dancing is an art, a creative view of culture, and a wonderful dance of expression and meaning. I want, most of all, my life to be like that. I hope, down the road, I can actually say I let my life be much like a Ring Dancer. One piece at a time, picked up to the rhythm of life to create something beautiful.(And not just my kids, but something more...even though they are beautiful...and cute....and rotten...stopping now. Promise.)
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